Quick Thoughts: Men Too

Source: Vulture

The Me Too and Time’s Up movements mostly centered about exposing sexual abuse perpetrated by powerful men against women, at least in the mainstream context. Me Too founder and social activist Tarana Burke started the movement during the MySpace era, but it was unknowingly reused by Hollywood actress Alyssa Milano. Time’s Up began in Hollywood just like Me Too’s rebirth. Both movements helped expose the underbelly of sexual misconduct that plagued the entertainment industry, political arenas and even the arts and sciences.

As a result, dozens of famous, rich and powerful men have been ousted thanks to women brave enough to tell their stories.

But what about the men? No, not the perps. I mean what about the male victims of sexual misconduct?

Two rich and famous dudes have especially been trending for sexual crimes, director Bryan Singer and actor Kevin Spacey. The latter is facing legal repercussions after being accused of allegedly grouping an 18 year-old. Spacey’s been accused of numerous other assaults since 2017.

Bryan Singer also faces multiple accusations of sexual assault. His accusers are males.

The Sundance festival this year was rocked by two films about two powerful men, movie mogul Harvey Weinstein and the King of Pop Michael Jackson. The latter was the catalyst for the film “Leaving Neverland“, a documentary detailing sexual abuse inflicted upon two boys – now adult men – by Jackson who, as we all remember, has been slapped by child molestation accusations during the latter half of his life and afterwards. (Whether they’re true or not is a subject for another day.)

As a side note, the film about Weinstein – “Untouchable” – centers on his numerous sexual assault and rape allegations and the industry’s priority to keep a lid on it.

As another side note, I’m not saying that only men can harm men in this manner. There have been cases of female sexual predators accused of preying on males, including young ones, very young ones.

There hasn’t been much talk about male victims of rape and sexual abuse. The movements and conversations largely focused on female victims. I’m not saying it’s wrong. It’s not! Still, it would be morally and factually wrong to leave out males in the issue especially if they’ve been assaulted.

Now, I’ve never been assaulted or raped by a man or woman in my lifetime, and I thank God for that. So, I’m in NO position to argue how victims should react or what they should’ve done or not done, nor do I have a right to demean them for not adequately protecting themselves based on my opinion and limited knowledge. I guess all I’m saying is that sexual crimes happen across both genders, and those victims must be heard no matter what gender they are or what gender preference they have.

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8 thoughts on “Quick Thoughts: Men Too

  1. I admire Terry Crews and his courage for talking about his experience. And to his detractors like DL Hugley and Fifty Cents and Tariq Nasheed that Gillette commercial for toxic masculinity was addressing jerks just like them. Terry Crews is a hero for his courage and his detractors who are trolling him are the losers.

  2. As a long time follower of you and your work (on your previous blog and on this one), Brothawolf, I must say that I could not possibly be more impressed with your commitment to truth-telling on complicated topics and your evolution both personally and as a blogger. Your more recent addition of regularly blogging on issues related to gender and sexuality, written in your own very personal style, has particularly impressed me. In my professional life, I have taught sociology courses in Gender and Sexuality at a university for more than a decade and I can assure you that you are invariably right on point. I am not surprised necessarily because it has always been apparent to me that deep personal reflection underpins everything you write. Race, gender, and sexuality are all manifestations of power relations in our society and culture and around the world. Welcome to this new aspect of the dialogue on power. You are a rising star as a blogger in my not-so-humble opinion and I hope you get every good thing you deserve for your meticulous — and quite beautiful — unfolding.

      1. What are you
        talkin’ about? Who has time to read HALF of what we want to? Not me. But I happened to notice the direction you’ve been going and I just HAD to say: two thumbs up! :^)

  3. I think the forces at work which have rallied against the Me Too movement are the same forces that tell us men cannot be victims of sexual assault – it is not considered ‘masculine’ and for men to admit to being victims – whether due to other men or women – is shameful in the eyes of patriarchal beliefs. In fact, to some who uphold these beliefs, it’s *impossible* for men to be victims.

    1. That’s the thing about maleness, we can’t be victims even if and when we are. To claim how you’re a victim is to be seen as less than a man.

      I think that’s the issue with Terry Crews. The man is loaded with muscles. He’s a big, buff black man, and yet, he was brave enough to say how he’s a victim. But some of his peers can’t process it and would go as far as belittle him.

  4. Terry Crews should be commended for speaking our on the topic of male rape.
    I could only imagine how hard it is doing it. We as society put men in a category where they are supposed to be strong,know how to handle themselves and not feel pain..which is our big mistakes.

    It’s hard enough for women to admit rape but for a man to do..wow! that’s real courage right there. Sometimes,my cousin ,who is a LPN,would talk about some of the patients he would tend to. In one instance a young inmate was raped in jail and was brought to the hospital for treatment The inmate wasn’t my child but it deeply saddened me knowing how badly he was violated. I rarely cry but his ordeal bugged me to the core.

    Rape doesn’t discriminate against nobody. It only discriminates when people have expectations of who should/ shouldn’t be victimized by it.

    Im not a Me Too or TimesUp supporter but if it was those groups that made Terry speak his peace,then God bless him. Far as his critics let’s all pray that their male love ones won’t get raped.If so,we already know what will happen to them. That’s sad.

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