Black Men, We Need To Do Better For Black Women!

black couple

Before I begin, I want to make something loud and clear. This rant was not written for the satisfaction and ego boast of the white male ego, nor is it to absolve all the things I’ve blogged about concerning racism. Hell yes, racism is a major issue, but it’s NOT the only issue. And lastly, this is not a distraction from what some of you deem are “real issues” that hark back to racism. Once again, racism is still a problem. I wholeheartedly agree. But so is misogyny, or in our case, misogynoir, and we need to stop being punk-ass cowards and confront this issue inflicted against black women partly by black men.

With that said, let me say something simple and yet powerfully true. Black men can not be pro-black if they are not pro-black women. You can’t fight for black people if you leave black women out or if you throw them under the bus. Black women are black people too.

Yes, it’s a plain statement. It’s true to life. It’s common damn sense. But too many brothas can’t seem to grasp it, because we’re taught not to think that way or haven’t been taught that way at all.

What’s even worse is that one way or another, black women are the enemy. If they’re victims at the hands of black men, we protect black men and vilify his victims. We see them as weapons out to bring black men down, especially rich and powerful ones. We call them trifling, manipulative, gold-digging or just no good all for the sake of black patriarchy protectionism.

We constantly judge them by their looks. If we don’t chastise them for wearing make-up and weaves, then we deem them less attractive for their natural hair and skin color and go chasing lighter-skinned black women or just straight up hook up with white females.

Keep in mind, there’s nothing wrong with having preferences, and it’s not a sin to date outside one’s race. However, cutting black women down for having darker skin is deplorable, especially when some of ya’ll have dark skin as well. Skin color is not a choice when you’re born, and dark skin should not be viewed as less attractive or unattractive. Again, some of you have that complexion and you look down on black women with the same complexion. I call that a sign of internalized racism/colorism.

Seriously, some of ya’ll sound like racist white dudes for the insults and excuses you spew when you berate black women, the same women who created you, support you and stand by you. But it’s troubling that you don’t see something so gotdamn obvious and glorious and would go out of your way to throw them under the bus for self-serving purposes.

Seriously, do ya’ll secretly hate yourselves? Do ya’ll really wish ya’ll weren’t black?

Let’s be honest. That kind of behavior is beyond pathetic, and shows evidence of how powerful a few centuries of oppression can be. And it’s time we see that shit for what it is.

After the celebrity news media was on fire over the scandals surrounding R. Kelly, Kevin Hart and Usher, that was my breaking point. (Actually, I reached my breaking point years ago, but this week, I went critical.) I felt ashamed for being a black man, and I bet a lot of other black men feel the same way. But some brothas will cast blame on black women for putting themselves into situations that aren’t their fault, and will still think of themselves as ‘woke’.

Brothas, that’s not being woke. That’s being sleepy as hell, and when you’re sleepy, your ass doesn’t think clearly.

Ask yourselves, why the bloody hell are we spending so much precious time supporting and protecting niggas who pose a serious danger to the black community, and by that I mean black women? Also, why is it that everytime – EVERY FUCKIN’ TIME – a black woman accuses a black man of abuse, assault and rape, we automatically go on the defense and instantly assume that she’s lying and out to ruin him. We never think about how he ruined her in so many ways. We never consider how often this shit occurs versus the ultra tiny number of false claims which we will callously stick as evidence of their supposed trifling nature. We never, not once, consider that she may be telling the truth and was genuinely and tragically harmed. We never think of the welfare of our sistas unless its to our advantage.

Our male privilege is showing through a diseased dick, gentlemen, a dick we will use to fuck up our community to save our victimhood.

Yes, I’m aware white men do this too. I’m aware of the likes of famous white men like Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Bill O’Reilly, Hugh Hefner, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lewis, Donald Trump and even Thomas Jefferson. I know some of you be like, “White men do that too.” But that retort lacks moral reasoning. Our oppressors engage in that shit. That doesn’t mean we should do the same to our women. Why the hell should we?

Do you see how wrong it is to adopt their misogyny? If not, something’s seriously wrong with you. It should be a wake up call to be better than they are! 

If you’re still reading this, and are pissed off, good. I’m not interested in your arguments or excuses. Direct your anger at the no-good jackasses that’s ruining our communities that pray and destroy black women. If you’re truly woke, you would do what you can to stand for and with black women. No exceptions. If you truly consider them your queens, act like a king, a true king, and banish the behavior and mindset that’s harming your queens by mental paupers who think they’re kings. 

Yes, there are innocent and kind black men that have been targeted by racism, and some have been punished unjustly for being accused of crimes they didn’t commit. BUT there are also black men who have caused great harm to the black community. Not every brotha is Emmett Till, a member of the Central Park Five or Nelson Mandela. We have predators within our midst and we need to fight them and the society that enables them to continue their shit. If we don’t start fighting for black women – our mothers, sisters and daughters, then we’re just contributing to the ongoing destruction of our people.

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19 thoughts on “Black Men, We Need To Do Better For Black Women!

  1. A round of applause. This post is everything. I was starting to give up hope, but I’m glad there’s another brotha who feels the same way.

  2. Keep in mind, there’s nothing wrong with having preferences, and it’s not a sin to date outside one’s race.

    In a Utopian world, you are right. However, this isn’t a Utopian world. White supremacy abounds. However, to each his own.Women have taken up with various assholes it is just a matter of what kind of assholery. I think you are on to something when you referred to these self-loathing loons as hating their mothers’ for giving birth to them.

    People who stand up for these miscreants need to have their heads read. I know some sexual abuse survivors. The opposition they face is almost as bad as the acts themselves. Trying to excuse, rationalize the perpetrators of these heinous acts is just as bad

  3. Great post Brotha Wolf some many complex issues in our culture as black people. It makes me sick in my soul.

  4. Good post.

    It’s got so bad that sum blk men say sh*t about blk women (the way white men say shit about blk ppl) as way to bond with u

    But the funny thing is when u check them n tell em that doesn’t fly wid u, they switch up straight away n know they’re talking nonsense.

    2 many blk men ave mommy issues n blk women dissed them growing up issues n don’t let it go. Hell we can take a life time of sh*t from whites, but not hold grudges to them.

    Another thing that black men need to let go off is the silly belief in2 thinking blk men ave so many options with women n women of other races want black men.

    They really don’t

    And blk men no it.

    Sure if ur Will Smith or Chris Brown that may be true but 4 the everyday brotha on the street ? Like me, ur average n that’s fine becas most men r, but average blk men r average with a stigma on us that other races of men don’t ave n that stigma is very unattractive 2 non black women n even 2 some blk women.

    That’s why I’ve never really bought in2 that “Women want black men” “they all want blk d*k” “blk guys are smooth with women” because any brotha who believes that n starts stepping to women is gonna get dissed n his feelings hurt.

    But there are still some brothas and non black ppl who believe that all (or at least most) non-black women have a secret fetish for black men, a discreet preference that they hide only because of widespread shaming and racism.

    Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t completely untrue.

    The reality, however, is that the typical black male is not that hot of a ticket as far as non-black women are concerned. So drop the fake bravado.

    And black men stop acting tough and big around black women. Why ? Because you don’t act tough around the ppl (white people) u take from everyday.

    N even when black men go for blk women, stop thinking that the black women has 2 look like a godaam runway model who goes to church every week and has only had 1 boyfriend but that same brotha will wife up some white women who has been ran through by her own men.

    And stop going for a black women, after a white women has dogged you out, tired of seeing 55 year brothas, who all of sudden get militant, because their relationship with a white women never worked out. If u didn’t think blk women were gud enough for u to giv her ur prime years, then don’t expect them to get with ur middle aged bitter ass.

  5. I feel what you are putting out, man. A lot of people avoid this issue in favor of focusing on a wider view, but this definitely needs to be addressed. I’m a 27 year old black man, and as I grow older, my appreciation for black women grows and grows! There are some personality related issues attributed to our black women that I feel are, in part, our faults as black men, because we have not taken the time to show true appreciation for black women. In turn, black women have become more hard and independent, because they have to do it on their own.
    Just my 2 cents, but , again….Good post man! Much love! And if you ever get the chance, check out my blog as well. I’m new, but I think you will like what I’m putting out.

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