God, why did he have to be black?

Welp, in backtracking to the post about the horrendous nightclub shooting in Ohio a couple of weeks ago, it seems that the fears of a lot of black folks in the area who weren’t there and across the nation who got wind of the tragic incident were solid. Most likely, the shooting that injured over a dozen and killed at least one was done by black males, armed, angry and at the throat of other blacks males. It’s the same ole’ bullshit we’re used to hearing in the community. Some pissed off brotha with a gun started shooting at a place built for drinking and enjoyment.

Fast-forward to this week. There was a shooting in an elementary school in San Bernardino, California. It turned out to be a murder-suicide with one child dead from gunfire.

Usually, when it comes to school shootings in this country, one normally would assume that it was committed by a white dude since they are the demographic responsible for most of them. Let’s not get it twisted. A shooting anywhere is a tragedy. But in this nation, race matters. A white dude who went trigger happy is usually seen as mentally disturbed. A black guy, brown guy, Middle Easterner or Muslim? Not so much.

Prior to that, the mainstream news media reported on another murder-suicide at a gym in Miami, Florida. To make a long story short, a fitness trainer was fired, and he came back guns blazing. He killed two managers and himself.

In all three highly publicized shootings, all of the suspects and shooters were black males. You can only imagine the gleefulness of racists around the nation as they saw their pictures and the amount of embarrassment felt by many black folks across the nation.

Black crime statistics have always been the go-to argument for people whenever a topic of race is in progress as if we’re mindlessly unaware of the problem ourselves. In almost any given forum, a troll or two will remind people how excessively violent black people are compared to white people. ‘Black-on-black crime’ is always used to insensitively tell black people where their priorities for activism should be as opposed to any form of racial justice. And the gospel of white genocide rears its head to preach about the black scourge.

In many black homes where news is observed, whenever a terrible crime happens, especially if the victim is white, we say a little prayer request to God pleading that whoever’s responsible is not black. (It’s due to years of vigilantism and retribution at the hands of white folks.) If the suspect’s white or nonblack, we breathe a sigh of relief. If the suspect’s black, we become angry, humiliated and depressed.

No matter who the victim was, we mourn for them. Yet, we feel shame and guilt after learning that the criminal is black even though only that one individual is guilty.

Some black people produce collective pride and shame based on one or a group’s actions. When we hear of one of us accepted into an ivy league college, made CEO of some company, made strides in community service or even risked his or her life to save a puppy, we feel good. It tells us that we’re making progress and helps put cracks in negative racist stereotypes, or so we hope.

But the opposite is true as well. If there’s a viral video of black folks doing something stupid like fight each other over meaningless bullshit while being egged on by other ig’nit black folks, some of us feel ashamed. If one of us shoots someone, anyone, we feel ashamed. If we even do something minor like say something considered ignorant or non PC, we still feel ashamed. We always consider it as a push-back to our advancement, strengthens negative stereotypes, a need to do better and a fear of a backlash that will add more surveillance and less freedoms.

The irony is that we want to be seen as individuals, but we have collective emotions.  We think this way, because we are never seen as individuals. If we’re programmed to be seen and treated as a collective, then it should come to no surprise that some of us feel collectively.

Black bodies are feared. We’re seen as dangerous, superhuman, primal and deadly, but never human worthy of respect, dignity or the right to exist whether we’re wearing a hoodie or a suit. Short and skinny, tall and brawny, we scare people by just being, and it has serious consequences.

All we can do is try to avoid processing collective emotions and see ourselves as individual people who succeed and make mistakes, neither of which define us. If white people are individualized, why can’t we? Why must one or a few fools define a population of over 40 million in this nation alone? Why must we always measure our road to the humanity only afforded to whites by what one of us says or does? And who are “they” to put us down on how screwed up we are when most of them likely have skeletons in their closet?

Yes, we have our share of screw-ups. We’ve never denied it in our history. But we’re not a race of screw-ups.


10 thoughts on “God, why did he have to be black?

  1. I try to assuage my embarrassment (and then just let it go) by saying to myself that even if Black people were a race of total angels, there are going to be white people who will find a reason to vilify us for being too good. Hell, there are white people who do that now.

    White people make up so much sh** about us in their heads, it almost doesn’t matter what we do. White people looking for scapegoats, for their pointless existences, are going to act a fool, no matter what.

    1. Fuck John Ridley i have no desire to watch Showtime’s Guerrilla I was turned off watching the trailer. I agree he is a coon he wants to be apart of white supremacy by erasing the images of black women.

  2. We hear so much about what black people do- I live in the UK. I am of European descent- here is what white people do to dark people. You won’t know about the thousands of dark people like me who live in this racist City in the UK because the media don’t want you too. 42 years of torture in the hands of racists is not news!
    I lived in Liverpool with my family from 1973 until 2015. That’s 42 years of life experience in Liverpool. We lived in Croxteth, Huyton, Tuebrook, Broadgreen and Dovecot. Originally born in London we moved to Cyprus in 1970 returning to the UK (Liverpool) in 1973 just before the Turkish invaded Cyprus. We lost our home and came back to the UK to settle in Croxteth. Our house was smashed up several times, car destroyed by fire and my oldest brother beaten and put in hospital. I attended West Derby School on Mill Lane where I was subjected to the worse racial torture you can imagine- at one stage I was abducted at just twelve years of age outside Tuebrook Police station while walking to Newsham Park to meet my friend- the abductors being two pupils from West Derby School whom I knew. They were taking me to the old desolate railway lines to inflict a beating on me. Luckily I was rescued by a man who saw that I was very distressed. Another time I was pushed through a plate glass classroom window by a group of racist thugs and then when I told the teacher I was told that it was normal for kids to behave that way and my parents were called to the school and told they had to pay for the window. We moved five times but each time the racism would follow us. My sister at just two years of age had a brick thrown at her, slicing past her face and hitting the wall. My mother and father just a few years ago were attacked in their own home by two thugs- my father had CS gas sprayed in his eyes and my mother punched down the stairs, soon after to suffer cancer (both in their 80s). I was lucky as I got out of Liverpool after forty years of hell but the mental scars remain and now I write about “The Capital of Racism” as I believe many people are still suffering today. The torture we suffered as a family tore us apart, my three brothers developed serious mental illnesses and one of them has now fled the country. My last day in Liverpool in 2015 was a memorable one- I was set upon by two men in Page Moss while visiting the shops. I reported it to the police hate crime unit who after investigating told me that they could not proceed with the investigation through lack of evidence. I investigated myself and found that there was CCTV that recorded 24/7. This is the issue in Liverpool and has been for forty two years- racism is rife, it is built into the Liverpool genetics and passed down through generations, the police and authorities are not interested and never have been so it continues. My parents are European, I and my brothers were born in London. Liverpool people see black and white. If you are slightly darker than white then you are labelled a pa.i and your life will be made hell. After 42 years I am now living in Cheshire and the people are amazing. I can walk to the shops without having to carry a weapon to defend myself and the only time I need a police officer is when I’m lost- I feel so sorry for the “darker looking” people in Liverpool who maybe for financial reasons cannot get out of that hell hole. I say darker looking because that’s what the racists in Liverpool look for prior to launching their hate campaign of violence- out of 52 years I spent just 3- years out of the UK. My parents being European are slightly darker so we as children inherited that dark skin and that’s all it takes to have your life destroyed in Liverpool. Hopefully, once published, my book will raise awareness of the racism problem in Liverpool. I will be sending a free copy to the Liverpool Schools I attended in the hope they can educate their teachers in the damage racism does to children and how that damage shapes their adult life. People sometimes say “move on” but the truth is when your childhood is poisoned by the violence of racism and your family is ripped apart then moving on is never possible. I have placed a few videos on my page and more personal ones will follow although they are graphic and portray true racism in Liverpool in it’s worse violent form.

      1. Thank you. I’m still working on it. The writing helps. It is 4.20am in the UK and I’m posting this so I guess there’s a way to go before I can say I’m truly over it….

    1. That is horrible it sounds like a nightmare. I hope you are getting some type of therapy or counseling for your mental health.

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