A Meme Says That Black Males Are the Worst When It Comes To Their Women. Is It Right?

My alter ego was in a Facebook group dedicated to the black man’s love for black women. Then, someone posted a meme that says that no one has put down their women more than black men. Naturally, it started a comment thread that I bet is still active with most brothas refuting the meme. Some sistas agreed with the brothas, but some agreed with the meme, including the one who posted it in the first place.

I stepped in to give my two cents. I stated that misogyny is prevalent among all groups. I agreed that we need to fix this problem in your own communities. But to read that black men are the worst struck a nerve with me.

Maybe it sounded similar to the “we’re the most criminal” cliche we hear among racist trolls. Maybe it implied that black men disrespect their women without any explanation. Whatever it was, I wanted to defend my brothas, the ones who genuinely love black women. Maybe it was my male privilege that made me want to put the meme and arguments to rest without hearing any counters. But in retrospect, I pondered if it was right to do so in the faces of black women who had reasons of their own to back up the claim.

One sista argued that other races of men do not disrespect black women the way we do. I responded by saying that they do, but in their own ways which are no more or no less damaging to the women within their cultures. She wasn’t having any of that. She argued that black men are more open with their misogynoir. Interracial dating, raunchy rap lyrics and music videos and social media conversations and images are some examples of black men’s lack of respect for black women.

I was frustrated. I didn’t feel like conversing with her anymore.

Prior to the thread, I stated how tired I was of my people being seen as the worst of the worst. It seemed that someone somewhere want to make black people as the most inferior collection of humans on the planet. And to not only see the meme that says we’re the worst when it comes to our women but also see people defend it was too much to take.

So, I left the thread and the group. I was already depressed as hell. And I just wanted to retreat.

I think back to the sistas who backed the meme. The one I was arguing with was definitely tired and hurt in some way. Something happened to her to make her think and feel this way and she latched her anger on behalf of black women against black men. I think she even mentioned considering dating white men, a nod to the Black Women’s Empowerment movement where nonblack (usually white) men are looked upon as ideal mates for black women.

Sure, I’ve said that as black men, we need to do better. Still, I inadvertently argued that everybody does it putting the reputation of black men instead of being concerned for the sistas who were hurting.

As black men, we need to love, honor, protect and respect black women. Most of us are. But our sistas are in pain, and overall, we need to man up and help them instead of making things worse. We’re all in the same boat fighting the raging sea of racism. But if we don’t stand together as equals with love as our power, we will all sink to the bottom.

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10 thoughts on “A Meme Says That Black Males Are the Worst When It Comes To Their Women. Is It Right?

  1. Thank you Brotha Wolf. The media and society loves to pin Black men as being misogynistic when in reality non-Black, esp. White men, are far more misogynistic and display chauvinistic attitudes toward women in general.

    S.B.

  2. I don’t see how you can look at all the things in the media, and be online for more than two minutes without realizing just how incredibly crappy White men treat White women. Black men are not the worst of all men.White men have formed whole organizations with logos, catchphrases, memes and everything, dedicated to hating on White women. They are organized. There are hundreds of Youtube channels dedicated t to hating on White women. There’s even a class of White men dedicated to not having anything to do with White women because they’re considered inferior to them.

    White men are also incredibly blatant about their hatred of White women. The vast majority of domestic abuse, sexual misconduct, assault, and childhood sexual abuse occurs between White men and women. When I was in college about four or five of the White women I knew had all been sexually abused as children by brothers, fathers, uncles, and even grandfathers. Sexual abuse, misconduct and rape are rampant. For all the complaints about catcalling that you hear, there are untold numbers of White women who have stories about being sexually assaulted by total strangers, all of their attackers are White men, because Black men learned a long time ago that even breathing too damn hard in the direction of a White women could get you a death sentence, or a jail term. So this idea that Black men are somehow worse is pure bulsh** and just an attempt to start a fight by the meme maker, or spin it so that, once again, Black people are at the bottom of the pathology barrel, just like you said.

    I understand why that woman is frustrated. Hell I am too but I try to keep it in perspective. Interpersonal relationships can be emotionally (and physically) damaging. I’m not even saying that woman’s concerns are not valid, but her experiences of the world isn’t ALL of the world. Anytime women live in a society where they can be jailed for being raped, or burned alive because her in-laws wanted a bigger dowry, is a literal hell, and Black men ain’t nowhere near those levels of f***ery. But this isn’t the oppression olympics. I’m not trying to go there, I’m just saying there are far worst things than American Black men being assholes to Black women.

    Yes, Black men have a Hell of a lot of work to do but they are not the worse in their behavior.

    Don’t believe me? Check out the website: We Hunted the Mammoth, which does nothing but chronicle all the different ways White men hate White women. Black men ain’t even on that level.

  3. This thinking is another white supremacist ploy to make us second guess ourselves. If you want to see some real demons, look to the white man who created this ‘meme’. With that being said, there are assholes in every group of men. The white supremacists choose to emphasize the small group of assholes, a neat trick that. Fools with this white supremacist thinking, hate themselves. Ignore them, misery loves company.

  4. I’ve seen that meme. While there is some truth to it, it is over played and over exaggerated. As you said many other cultures are just as misogynistic if not more so than some of our people. For example in the Islamic world, women are seen as property and is worth half of a man. In many Muslim communities, men beat their wives and it is even commanded and condoned in their Qur’an and Hadiths….. That meme is just s representative of the witchcraft that is continually worked on our people….

  5. For the life of me..I just don’t get how anybody can put down their community like that. I mean, what are they proving/ making themselves when they do that? How would these same ” experts” of Black people would feel if their kids would tell them that Black people sucks? I don’t know about them,but if it was me, it would make me feel bad and they , too, should be ashamed of themselves for doing it.

    ” Other races of men do not repsect their women in the way we do”.

    Do the self hating Black woman know that for a fact? Show would have to date every non-Black man to determine that conclusion.

    There is this IR website that.probably most logical thinking..quickly read and left, because the author is soooo pro IR, that she dogs Black men and sometimes non-Black men. Her ignorance is so legendary ,it’s not even funny. If I was a woman who was seeking the company of a non-Black man I would NEVER EVER recommend her site to anyone because she’s bougie ,just straight up racist and I don’t care if she is African-American. I cannot accept her blog because it’s apparent that this woman has no idea what it’s like to be around Black people,culture and she basically just tells people when Black man wrong you, just go to a White man and everything will be ok..Really?! Recently, I was one their where there was a controversial story about a White former Virginia senator who married his then 17 year old Black secretary. At 17 years old to his 59, you can guess what part of the disgust is about. He has 5 kids by multiple mothers, had two kids by his current wife and he is being implicated in a sexual harrassment. Now he’s running for mayor. I thought to myself, the blogger will make excuses for his actions because he’s White and senator,but was shockedwhen she also became disgusted with this child molesting loser. Still, I thought that if that was a Black man( not that I would want any guy to do what he did) to have done what he did, she would have had even more unkind things to say about them. The hypocrisy in her blog is terrible when it comes to the Black community.

    I also grew up in a White/ Jewish community but I know that some of my White/non-Black neighbors were hoodrats. My baby sister still tell people about ” Big Foot”. Obviously, that wasn’t his name but she called him that because he had big feet and he was really tall but he dragged his 5’0 wife on the ground. She also have a good friend in New York who date in/out of her race. the first father of her son is an African American man, then she married a Latino man who she had kids by. While he treated their blood kids like gold, he treated her oldest Black son like crap. After she divorced that guy, she dated a White guy from New Hampshire. That boyfriend stalked her and lastly, she dated a much younger Black man and he had some questionable tendencies about himself but my sister kept her opinions to herself. Ok..she dated Black, White and Latino. Whose next? Arab, Native American or Polynesian? They will save her from doom * sarcasm *.

    In spite of her misfortunes with these men, the thing that I admired about her was that she never put down Black people in doing it. A man is a man to her regardless of their race. She dated all of these men but they disappointed her. Why? I don’t know,but she’s not a woman with a lot of self worth and standards considering her troubled childhood. She wants stable love and she seem to find it in all the wrong places. Supposedly, if you find a White/non Black man they will..according to the Black woman commenting about the tasteless meme, they will ” treat you better”. Well, my sister BFF diversified her dating pool and I’m trying to figure where the great white hope is?

    When it comes to relationships…you can’t run from reality. No race is perfect and I’ve been around White/non-Black people to see their realities. I know Black men who will disrespect woman and I know White/non-Black ones that have done the same thing. it doesn’t matter what race the guy is eventually the both of them will go through some form of adversities as well as prosperity. That is what what strong unity is all about.. When a person dates/marries a person from another race and they are dogging out their own or their spouse’s community, they have always had negative feelings about them all along. This is their perverted way of showing their ” love ” for them. If I came across a guy like that,, I wouldn’t want to fool with them. I they can put down their own race, eventually they may put you down.

  6. I don’t know if I’d be willing to say that black men are the WORST when it comes to disrespecting their women (uh….has anyone checked how women are treated in those Arab countries lately?..) but I will say that we are certainly the most bombastic when it comes to broadcasting our abject disrespect.

    We need to realize that the black woman is the only friend we have. I think I’d agree with the black women who are disappointed with black men. They have a lot of reasons to be disappointed.

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