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By Lavern Merriweather:

One of the cable movie channels was showing the Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder buddy flick “Stir Crazy” for the 200th time that month. So I decided to watch it. I hadn’t seen the movie in a while, and they were giving me more than enough opportunities to catch up with the film again.

Yes, I laughed at some of the same scenes that I did from the past, but I also noticed something at the end. Just like in their other movies together, Gene Wilder was able to find romance but not Richard. Jobeth Williams, who also stars in the film, rides off into the sunset with Gene after proving the two men innocent of a crime.

Gene also got the girl, aka Jill Clayburgh, in their other classic “Silver Streak” and made out with actress Mercedes Ruehl in the film “Another You”. Once again another Hollywhite tradition comes to fruition. This time, it’s about who gets to knock boots while the other stands by on the sidelines being the funny sidekick.

And if it’s not playing the sidekick, then it’s being the noble savage who must sacrifice the woman that he loves for a bullshit racist plotline. In the film “Hancock” starring Will Smith, he plays a boozing, obnoxious less-than-revered superhero that later discovers a sexual history between him and another star of the film Charlize Theron. Will finds out in one scene that Charlize is also a superhero, amazing that she could keep that little tidbit from her family and suburban neighbors. I should also mention that the scene involves Charlize flinging him through the wall of her home because he was putting the moves on her.

As we all know by now, especially with some recent events, is that a white woman’s virtue is never safe when a black male predator is around, despite the fact that they are actually a lot more compatible in terms of looks, personality and strength. It’s lame-ass Jason Bateman that she is married to and winds up with at the end.

In one of the more laughable attempts to keep a black male and white woman separate at all costs, Charlize explains that if they ever did hook up, the dominant one’s abilities would overwhelm her and she would die. Or some shit like that. (I wasn’t really paying that much attention, because her reasoning about why they couldn’t be together was just flat out ridiculous.) Apparently some other lovers who were just like them also tried to get their mack on and spontaneously combusted.

That is just another way of Hollywhatthehell saying that it’s okay for them to star in the same movie with each other, but we will be damned if they wind up sharing a bed. That theme was evidently present in another Will Smith hit “Bad Boys” that he did with Martin Lawrence. In the film, Martin is stuck protecting white female co-star Tea Leoni who is obviously getting on his nerves. Although the movie presents Will Smith as the Don Juan loverboy of the plot and Martin as the happily married man, it’s Martin that is forced to spend the majority of time with Tea. In fact Tea and Will don’t actually even meet, and she realizes who he really is until the movie is almost over. On top of that, when she does finally find out, she gets kidnapped, so no chance of romance for Will yet again.

In the sequel to “Interview with a Vampire” called “Queen of the Damned” the movie’s based on the very popular Anne Rice Lestat vampire character the late singer Aaliyah stars along with Irish actor Stuart Townsend. Interesting that even though Aaliyah was the one to save him from an attack by some other angry vengeful vampires, it’s white female Margeruite Moreau that he walks away with hand-in-hand at the end of the film. I’m not sure about the race of the character that Aaliyah played or that was even supposed to be black, but you can’t deny the significance of her casting. She also manages to kill some of the less-than-attractive vampires coming to take her down, however that’s another post for another day.

Brotha himself and I once got into a very lively debate about this issue when I mentioned a movie from the 1970’s starring the great Jim Brown and white actress Stella Stevens named “Slaughter”. I don’t even remember what the hell the picture was about. What I do remember vividly though is the scene where they were in bed together. I mentioned that movie to win my point with Brotha but he came up with a better one [darnitt!] by saying that movie came out a long time ago. And that the idea of a black man with a white woman romantically is one that most white males in Hollywhite are not willing to entertain. It doesn’t even matter if he is a big time star like a Will Smith.

Having said that, I am very curious to see how far they take his affair with the pretty white blond co-starring in his latest movie “Focus”. From what I can tell by the trailers, they play a couple of con artists that I assume fall for each other. While this storyline is not new, seeing a black man commit duplicitous capers with a white woman by his side is. Maybe some white executives have grown the hell up a little bit and have no problem with a black man sticking his sizable penis in a white woman’s face.

Then again, the winter might get so cold on the surface that Hell is affected and actually will freeze over. Not to be outdone by Brotha, I read on another website a post that spoke on this very topic. The writer was questioning and rightfully so why it is ok to see white males with women of color [except black women of course] but you don’t see the reverse. I even recall Blair Underwood mentioning on the Arsenio Hall show years back that you never think of Asian men as horny after he and his brother saw a Star Trek skit on “In Living Color”. The answer to that boils down to one word and that word is power. It’s a slap in the face to a white male’s manhood to see a white woman with a man of a different race, particularly if she is an extremely willing, consensual participant that is such a blow to the white male ego. I don’t believe that the status quo will change any time soon, unless you start putting more of those men of color behind the camera. Then we just might see Barbie spending less time with Ken and more time with the black GI Joe.