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By Lavern Merriweather

There is a movie out currently called “Let’s Be Cops” starring Damon Wayans Jr., son of actor Damon Wayans of the noted Wayans comedy family. The movie is apparently yet another two stupid losers buddy picture about Damon and his friend who pretend to be police officers that are trying to gain respect as the law that they obviously don’t get in regular life. The film itself looks pretty much like a big steaming pile of crap, but what really gets me is one scene that takes place in a sorority.

The two idiots in a fake squad car get a call about a fight between some young women at a college. When they get there, an attractive young co-ed with cleavage and big boobs answers the door making them think they hit the mother lode. However, when they enter the house they see two women fighting that don’t appear to fit their dream girl mentality. One of course turns out to be an overly angry, overweight black woman with an extremely bad weave and typical bad temperament. When Damon tries to break up the fight, she proceeds to lift him up like he was a rag doll and fling him into a chair.

As if it isn’t bad enough that they hired a black woman who looks and acts like a linebacker for the Chicago Bears, she has to be physically capable of manhandling a man to boot, something that most women can’t do, including ones they believe are more buff than the Bears starting line-up. That whole scenario goes right back to the media and Hollywood-fueled idea that black women are mannish, hideous and pissed off 24/7. Gee, maybe it’s the bullshit negative images that always have us so damn worked up, you think?

The biggest culprits of this attitude are many of the casting producers for reality TV shows. (Reality? More like made up stupidity bullshit.) If it seems like it’s not a coincidence that the majority of black females who are picked are often loud, overbearing, fat and get on everybody’s nerves from minute one, then it’s not. Trust me when I say it’s a cold calculating move on the part of those in TV and beyond. Even a black woman that is supposedly considered pretty is not immune. I say ‘supposedly’ because finding beauty among black females, in their minds, is a rare thing indeed.

One of the top models in the world Naomi Campbell from England has had to endure non-stop criticism from many in the media, sometimes for shit that wasn’t even her fault. Once at a fashion runway show she was accosted by a punk named Richard Patrick who is the lead singer for the semi-famous rock band Filter. Patrick sprayed Ms. Campbell in the face with a water gun causing her to grab a nearby bottle of champagne and chase him, hopefully to bash his fool skull in. After the incident, Naomi was painted as violent and difficult, getting all worked up over nothing since it was just harmless water.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell.

When asked about what he did, Patrick acted like the typical white male asshole coming up with a lame ass excuse to justify his creep behavior. He had the utter nerve to say that she was a little too full of herself and that at some point in life she was going to get everything handed to her on a silver platter. Well, what if she was prick?

It wasn’t HIS job to put her in her place, especially when the occupation he has chosen certainly allows for people to become spoiled by all those around them. I guess that little factoid never entered that pinhead’s moronic mind, and not only was he being a hypocrite, but a racist one at that. I’m 150% sure that the majority of models there were not the same shade as Naomi. If little Mr. Take-them-down-a-notch was so damn concerned with leveling the self-esteem playing field, then why didn’t he assault a white woman? This wasn’t the first nor last time Naomi would have to take shit, because she didn’t fit.

Ms. Campbell once did a photo shoot for Vogue for the inside of the magazine. Yet, it was white model Niki Taylor that wound up on the cover. Naomi was very vocal about her disgust of being good enough for the inside but not for the front page as I think most people would be. Still, she was, once again, branded as a sore loser and brat crying race.

I didn’t write this post to imply that all black women are angels. Far from it. I am well aware that some black women can be straight up jackasses who deserve the label that they get. But you have an imagery of black people that is framed by whites, done forever with a grain of salt, if not a big ass pile. This kind of perception goes way back and is passed down by generations by writers, directors and producers in what they think is a clever, honest way. Think again, dipwads, because Ray Charles can see through you.

For her first guest starring appearance on the FOX show “Glee” A-lister Gwyneth Paltrow went to visit the teacher she was substituting for. While sharing a beer, she told him about a run-in with a student at her first teaching gig. The girl’s name was Cameo and she was short, heavyset, dark skinned, unattractive and, for no reason, was giving Gwyneth a shitload of attitude. Tall, pretty, pale, thin Gwyneth soon finds herself in the path of this charging human rhino who wants to pummel her.

Gwyneth Paltrow

I assume that scene was meant to be funny. However, the last thing I did was laugh. It was another reminder that black women seem to come in one size, fits only, and that is one of a mean, homely, tubby and short nightmare who stomps and storms her way through life, a lot like that woman from the scene of the hit movie “Enchanted” starring Patrick Dempsey, Amy Adams and James Marsden.

Marsden, playing a prince, tries to find his princess Amy and believes her to be on a New York City bus. When he jabs his sword into the top of the bus, the bus driver/stereotype comes huffing off with steam flying from her ears. She screams at Marsden from the top of her lungs and I half expected her to morph into that maid from the “Tom and Jerry” cartons saying that she would kick him “O-U-W-T out!” That didn’t happen. Still, the message was loud and clear. She’s black therefore she can’t behave rationally.

I was shocked to learn that the creator of the hit ABC show “Grey’s Anatomy” was a black woman herself Shonda Rhimes, seeing how the lone black female representative on the show is once again short, ugly, dumpy, fat and goes by the nickname “the Nazi”. Well, there is a pleasant way to describe someone’s personality. Then again, she is a black female. So, what else should we expect?

I expect that a black woman would not drink the Kool-Aid. While I know that’s a pipe dream, most black folks are just as culpable as white people when it comes to placating cruel and hateful stereotypes. Tennis star Serena Williams was a guest on an ESPN TV show and was asked about her and Venus’ commercials where they have a rivalry with the football playing Manning brothers Peyton and Eli over, of all things, Oreo cookies. Right before the break, one of the hosts asked who would win in a fight, and Serena pointed to herself.

I sat there watching, dumbfounded. It’s bad enough that this jag-off thinks it’s perfectly understandable that two women would challenge two men to a fight who are football players and twice their size. But what made it worse was that she was actually stupid enough to answer, instead of being completely insulted by his goofy ass. And they have the nerve to question why it is that black women would be mad all the time?

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