Vern’s Venting: Fatherhood

By Lavern Merriweather

What do Stephen King, Demi Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo, Dolly Parton, Tom Cruise, Lara Flynn Boyle and the lead singer of Everclear all have in common? They were all raised without a father in their lives. There might even be more white celebrities on that list. Yet, as Brotha has stated on this blog and others elsewhere, white males in the media seem obsessed with the notion that single parent homes only exist in the black community. And I don’t mean he died from some unforeseen tragedy. I mean his sorry ass abandoned his kids by walking out the door and never looking back.

Matter of fact, when Mr. Brosnan, a.k.a. James Bond himself. mentioned his deadbeat father Tom, you could still see the hurt in his eyes. Believe it or not, white males can be cold hearted bastards too when it comes to not giving a shit about their offspring. Some probably can’t even wait to head out the back door when the true responsibility of being a parent finally hits them. That’s not an excuse, not hardly.

Pierce Brosnan

I think any man who walks out on his family is a pathetic little punk, black, white whatever. But whenever we start a national dialogue on losers who leave their families, the blame almost always falls on the usual suspects. And that is of course black men. There was even some asshole Hispanic comedian, whose name escapes me and probably isn’t all that funny, that made a snide joke about the 50 Cent hit song “Magic Stick”. Mr. self-righteous had the gall to say that the song is called that because every time he gets a girl pregnant he disappears. So what? Latino men stay and not stray when they make a baby with a girl out of wedlock? Right! We NEVER have a Latino man leave a girl with a bun in the oven high and dry. Your absolutely right, dude. Every single solitary Hispanic male that has gotten a girl pregnant has stayed with her from the moment of birth, right up until the time that Junior enters college in the fall. And if you believe that, one then you might as well put milk and cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve. He’s bound to be a little hungry with all that traveling around.

While I understand that there are plenty of black males masquerading as men and not fulfilling their obligations as fathers, the idea that black males are solely causing the problem is not only racist and offensive but pure bullshit. My father was a black man, and he was in my life for practically my whole life until he passed in 2005. So, when I hear some jackass, especially a fellow Negro, knock all black men for not doing what they are supposed as fathers, I want to knock their block off. I’m not even kidding on that one, because I take that mentality personally. My father stepped up to the plate, unlike some white males, and was there for me and my siblings. The next motherfucker who makes a malicious comment about black men not being good dads or dads period better not say it in front of me!

What gets me most is that even if you are there for your kids, you still have to take shit from white men in the media. Famed tennis star Andre Agassi has no relationship at all with his father. Tennis player Mary Pierce had to temporarily hire bodyguards to protect her from her father. Tennis champ Steffi Graf’s dad has been in and out of prison for tax evasion, racketeering and swindling folks out of their hard earned money. And former tennis phenom Jennifer Capriati is a one-woman crime spree.

Yet, it is invariably the father of tennis greats Venus and Serena Williams, Richard Williams, who gets the most grief. The only reason for that, I figure, is the glaringly obvious one. His daughters are well spoken, have never broken the law and have excelled in their chosen sport far past many others in a field where they have held their heads very high, despite taking cheap shots from the media, public and other players, which I can only imagine is that typical reason I was referring to. They have had to face resentment for no other reason than they are young black women in a white dominated game whose father’s amazing and valuable influence is highly evident. Still, that ain’t enough for the white media elite.

Serena Williams pictured with her father Tennis Coach Richard Williams

They just have to find some excuse – any excuse – to hate a black male, including one who is being the complete opposite of what they say black men usually are, and that is available to raise the kids you created. So, you are pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

When Richard was standing up for Venus because a jealous white ‘bleep bleep’ named Irina Spirlea deliberately bumped into her, he was still chastised. To those pious white males that whined about his comments towards Spirlea, I say kiss his black ass! You are the same ones decrying black men not being there at every turn, yet criticize them when they are.

When a black father was shown on video threatening some of his daughter’s classmates who were bullying her because she is somewhat slow mentally, he was also berated. Okay, first off, those kids were bullying little punks who deserved whatever the hell they got. He didn’t lay a finger on any of them, and he was just telling them if they didn’t back off, he was going to make them back off, something that most parents would do when they discover that some snotnosed fools are harassing their kid. But a black man, regardless of how hard he is maintaining his status as a good father, will face verbal terrorism from white males. His words came out of frustration for how his baby girl was getting treated by those thugs. Any adult worth their salt that has kids would prefer to face whatever challenges or obstacles their child is facing to spare them.

And if it’s not complaining or making stupid hypocritical jokes, white people make it up as they go along. When the late and very great syndicated columnist Carl Rowan wrote that rich, white stars in Hollywood don’t face the same vilifying that poor single black moms do for having kids out of wedlock, some arrogant snot responded in a letter by trying to claim that it was a financial issue. So, somehow that made it okay. Well, if that’s the case, fool, then why do white males in the media yack about rich black male athletes that have multiple babies with multiple women? Not to mention completely forgetting the fact that it’s really none of their business to begin with and that many of the white male celebrities that they admire on stage and screen are guilty of the very same thing.

If we are going to start holding men responsible, then let’s hold them all responsible. But that’s the problem. We don’t hold all men accountable. White males believe they are exempt when the criticism starts flying, particularly for something as serious as not being there for your kid. White males can dish it out, but never have to be bothered with taking the heat themselves.

A while back, the world’s most racist publication Sports Illustrated did a cover story called “Where’s Daddy” that featured a small black child on the front. The article was meant to be a smear campaign that pointed out the supposed rampant hormones of many black male athletes making babies that they didn’t want afterward. Keep in mind, this is the same magazine that has shown white males such as Mark McGuire, Joe Montana and Curt Schilling with their children. But when it comes to black men, the only image we see is of selfishness as a young black boy looks forlorn into the camera as if he were pleading with his eyes for daddy to come home.

The infamous cover of a 1998 issue of Sports Illustrated

This is the worst type of racist propaganda. They might as well be the Nazis spreading lies that Jews eat babies. No, black males just leave them to fend for themselves apparently. How much cash money you want to bet that if it were an entertainment magazine instead, they would not put a picture of one of the many kids Mick Jagger has with different women on the cover. I’d bet 50 million dollars, because that’s how confident I am. I would be right.

Former baseball great Steve Garvey has so many children out of wedlock, he could make a Little League team with just his kids alone. However, because he was once the media’s golden boy with perfect hair and a charming smile, they just can’t bring themselves to hate on their favorite son. Black men, on the other hand, are fair game. In fact, they are the white male media’s best game. They just better not have too many kids with too many baby mommas in the stands, lest they raise the high and mighty media ire.

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27 thoughts on “Vern’s Venting: Fatherhood

  1. Bro, you’re exactly right with this post. The amazing thing to me is how many people (of all races) that have either no or a poor relationship with their father…yet the only ones we talk about are black fathers. It just seems that on some issues black men and boys have become the defacto representatives for some topics: Deadbeat dads = black men; Criminality = Black men, Poor employees = Black men, and the list goes on and on. Keep doing what you’re doing Brotha Wolf.

  2. Excellent post Vern….. although, the Hispanic comedian’s name that has eluded you, I think you are referring to Gabriel Iglesias?

    Believe it or not White males are the most abusive and cold-hearted fathers despite the media stereotype of them being the doting, family men………..

  3. The standard operation procedure for a certain group of Americans is to keep shuffling the deck so that one can never win, as you illustrated with the example of Richard Williams. Nothing makes them angrier than to see a black person be successful, hence the constant references to the current president as a “community organizer.” Yeah. He’s not qualified. Got it.

    Racism and misogyny go hand in hand. If a black guy blows off his family it’s because he’s irresponsible. If a white guy does it, they look at the woman and say, “No wonder. Who would want to live with that shrew?”

    Interesting stuff, as usual, Lavern. I probably not your most typical reader, but your voice intrigues. Moth to a flame, in my case, I suppose.

  4. In the new Hidden Colors 3 documentary, there is a piece on this type of propaganda stating that crime in the Black community is due to Black children being fatherless. Someitmes I think that people know that this is drivel, but choose not to challenge it because they are too comfortable believing the lie. Just like what Hitler said, “Take a lie, make it big, keep it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”

    1. Exactly because so many of them know what their kids are going to have to face in a predominantly white world.

    1. The owner of the blog has made good points, but in this case, she’s playing up to stereotypes. And remember, this is the same gwoman who supported Jay From Philly’s racist views, the troll from Abagond’s blog.

      1. Yeah, and blogger Dr. Goddess wanted to ask her about her objectives and BB&W blogger didn’t take too kindly to her questioning, even though she didn’t say or imply anything offensive.

  5. Another fantastic post, Vern! I find it very interesting that upon looking for the background story about former tennis player Mary Pierce, an article titled “Worst Tennis Fathers of All Time” popped uP, and lo and behold the 1rst name that flew outta their punk azz mouths was the Williams Sister’s dad/coach. They didn’t even have any “dirt” on him compared to the other (non-black) fathers on the list, all they pretty much said was that he was known to cheer his daughters on during the games, and occasionally tell the other players to go home! lol

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