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An image from the movie Blended

by Lavern Merriweather

There is a new movie out starring perennially cute couple Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore called “Blended”. It’s apparently a rip-off of the Henry Fonda, Lucille Ball classic “Yours, Mine and Ours” about two previously married-with-children people coming together. In many of the trailer scenes, Drew and Adam have taken their respective offspring on a trip to Africa where I guess the fun and frolic will really begin.

Now, I’m not a fan of either Sandler or Drew. I think that Sandler is an overrated overpaid fool and Drew basically plays the same woman in every film that she does. And judging from the looks of this latest disaster, I doubt my opinion will change anytime soon. You think with all the liberal claptrap coming from white folks in Hollywood, there would be some attempt – any attempt – to revert from the ways of the ‘golden era’ days. But it seems that was way too much to hope for.

‘Hollywhite’ is hopelessly forever trapped in the mindset of the dark continent (Africa) as a place where exotic, interesting creatures live and where you will find happy-go-lucky darkies always ready and willing to make white tourists feel at home. The black representation in these movies is usually some sinister presence that white people have to rescue themselves from – preferably a white female, because you know how black men from the jungle just can’t wait to get their hands on a white woman. Those of you who have seen that famous C. Thomas Howell movie from the 80’s will get what I’m talking about. Or they are the smiling jovial tour guide that obviously has nothing better to do with their life than lay around expecting a white person to show up eventually. I can’t tell which bullshit is more insulting, being ignored completely as if 4 legged beasts are the end all be all to a land’s purpose or being seen as window dressing for white eyes.

Neither one sounds the least bit appealing to me, but it must have been very enticing for the actors involved, including my man, the extremely funny Terry Crews, who has once again sold his soul to the ‘Hollyweird’ devil for a paycheck. Black actors in Hollywood desperately need a crash course in the word shame, because they haven’t got one clue about the meaning of that word or the word ‘pride’, cause that gets forgotten pretty quick according to the roles they choose.

Terry Crews as ‘Nickens’ in the movie “Blended”.

I have also had my fill of those worthless, pretentious, condescending flicks like “I Dreamed of Africa” starring Kim Bassinger and Vincent Perez where white people travel to this far off beautiful land in an effort to find themselves while they look longing at the sun set on the shoreline. GAWD!

Please ‘Hollowood’, stop informing us that Africa exists solely so white folks can make some arrogant path to self-discovery and awareness while they happily frolic with joyous natives without a care in the world. Since when did Africa become a destination where only white people get to take the journey as if, Lord forbid, ‘Hollyweed’ ever show black folks who weren’t born there taking a trip to that land.

That’s another thing. I’m no geology expert, but last time I checked, Africa was a continent made up of several different countries. It isn’t one entity unto itself. So, not only do white people in ‘Hollywitless’ disregard the citizens of said place, but they have the temerity to not even acknowledge the actual make-up of the landscape. Right, who needs to bother with such petty details since it’s just a bunch of Negroes running round without clothes anyway? Why bother showing them or their kind any respect?

The movie poster for “The African Queen” starring Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn

As much as I’d like to give crap to Hollywood for all the misconceptions about Africa, they aren’t the only ones to blame. Ignorance comes from several different factions, including black people themselves. There is that flat out bullshit lie that born and bred African natives supposedly hate their American counterparts. While filming in Zaire for the film “Ali” based on the life of boxing legend Muhammad Ali, star Will Smith said that he was shocked to see a young woman there driving a BMW. Apparently instead of checking things for ourselves and looking up our history on our own, we choose to rely on the propaganda spread from history books written by white males. They certainly aren’t going to tell a very flattering story about the planet’s supposedly most inferior people.

This is precisely why the powers-that-be who make movies think that it’s ok to keep chugging out tripe like “Blended” or that nightmare starring Richard Dreyfuss some years back called “Krippendorf’s Tribe”. I, for one, won’t spend one penny to see this flick, nor will I watch it on cable or stream it on Netflix. If we actually want to completely put a stop to the bigots of the big screen mocking and insulting us, then there is no better way than by withholding our money and NOT supporting this mess.

I don’t know if this film will be a hit or not. I hope it’s not, and judging from the commercials, I highly doubt that it will be. What I do know is that when we as black folks say we aren’t going to tolerate it with our wallets that most likely will send the most potent message. I’m all for freedom of expression and artistic license, but this goes far beyond that. There is no place for stupidity ruling over common sense and for idiots in Hollywood to keep telling us what type of image represents us best. That’s for me to decide, not them, and the only thing this movie seems to showcase is how predictable and lazy writers are that they continue to hire.

There is an old and wise saying that goes “The only way for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing”. Well, I say the only way we can have dignity from assholes in Hollywood is by not endorsing their crappy ass product with our dollars. Unless, any of us truly want to be thought of as some attraction at the zoo.