Colorizing Fictional Whites Cause White Hysteria

Megyn Kelly

Santa Claus is real! Did you know what? After I grew up, I stopped believing in Santa. I mean an obese man delivering presents to every human being on this planet in one night and still be jolly doesn’t seem quite possible. But Megyn Kelly, host of her own show on Fox News, told America that St. Nick is a white. So, she latently suggested that he’s real…and white.

Kelly’s response was to an article on Slate by Aisha Harris entitled “Santa Claus Should Not Be a White Man Anymore.” Kelly wasn’t having any of that:

“For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is maybe just arguing that we should also have a black Santa. But, you know, Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we’re just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids.”

Okay. How about having Santa as a penguin, as that’s the new craze online. But commentator Monica Crowley didn’t see how that’s possible, because “a penguin can not lug all those gifts around the world.”

Right, but a fat dude as old as the hills can.

Okay, enough kidding around here. Why this is even worthy to be discussed on a news network is humorous enough. (Then again, this is Fox News we’re talking about.) But to make a huge fuss over the suggestion that we colorize Santa should go down as one of 2013’s WTF moments.

But we’ve seen this before, and what’s more screwy is this happens with imaginary characters portrayed as whites. Turning fictional characters into characters of color would cause some white people to go bonkers.

Remember when they casted Idris Elba to play Heimdall in the movie version of Thor? You would’ve thought white people lost their children. The Council of Conservative Citizens, a white nationalist cult group, even threated to boycott the movie.

Idris Elba as Heimdall

Remember the big uproar with Ultimate Spider-Man’s parallel universe incarnate Miles Morales, a young black-Latino. While a lot of people, including Stan Lee himself, praised the idea, some were outraged. (White) fans of the Spider-Man mythos didn’t think Peter Parker should’ve been killed off and replaced with a person of color. Seeing their beloved hero die is bad enough. But having him replaced with a black-Latino infuriated some.

Ultimate Spider-Man Miles Morales

But the obvious is missing from bursts of what white people could consider as desecration to their heroes and idols of pop culture. THEY ARE NOT REAL! Getting upset over skin and ethnic changes to characters that don’t exist in the real world hints that maybe, just maybe, they are racist.

The irony of this is that whites have no problem whitewashing characters, imagined or real, of any story they find. You need to look no further than Hollywood and movies like Argo or 30 Days of Night. Why? Because according to Tinsel Town, only white people are “universal” and they sell like hotcakes.

In closing, I like to ponder what it would be like if Santa was real, white and black. If Santa was white, he would likely avoid poor black and brown neighborhoods because he fears getting jumped or shot by angry black males. He would likely be a guest commentator on Fox News and cite how his red outfit would be a death sentence in a Crip neighborhood.

Now, if Santa was a real black man, entered a white neighborhood and was spotted, the residents would call the police and about 50 of them with guns drawn would descend outside of a house where Santa is, perched on a rooftop. They may even send in helicopters. Santa would probably get shot because he either “looked” like he was up to no good, or he was reaching in his bag for a gift to show he was indeed Kris Kringle and is mistaken for pulling a gun.

Boondocks’ Uncle Ruckus as a store Santa

Another scenario would be that Santa would get arrested visiting a white neighborhood. He would be charged with trespassing and attempted burglary. They may even plant drugs or a gun on him and charge him with drug possession and possessing a firearm.

These possibilities may be dark comedy to some, but a black Santa doesn’t get the right to exist, at least as a benevolent character, without some jokers protesting about history, white marginalization and prompting all sorts of negative black stereotypes, even if Santa Claus is in fact, make-believe. And Megyn Kelly and her Fox News comrades want to make you believe that Santa is out there and is white.

26 thoughts on “Colorizing Fictional Whites Cause White Hysteria

  1. They are sensitive and anytime a black person especially a child tries to have something or some self esteem they gotta break it. they say santa is white but u let a black person dress as santa and paint themselves white and it will be omg reverse racism, but they don’t want a black person to dress as santa even if it is for a costume party. It is ok for them to dress as blacks and put on blackface though.
    we know santa is fake but it tells u how insecure someone is to be mad over somebody, especially mad at a child for wearing a white fictional characters outfit. They were insecure when black girls rock came on, for them to say we are inferior they sure do get upset at anything black youth do to make themselves happy. can’t dress as a fictional character because he was white, can’t wear a hoodie because u look like a thug. what the heck are black kids supposed to dress up as, yet if black people stopped joining in on wearing costumes or doing our own thing oh yall are not patriotic . blah blah blah, can’t win either way.

  2. I left you a comment on Abagond, you should write all black characters in that happily ever after story, write your story, and if you want to create a black santa or whatever, you be like NIKE and just DO IT!

  3. I have to keep telling myself Megyn Kelly is one of those dunderheads from Fox News, and Fox is anti-black so even if this idiot chooses to have this type of mind set about an imaginary character, this mindset is indicative of what Fox News stands for anti black. Even the sell out uncle Toms that are on Fox News are antiblack and white washed.

  4. They gank our culture not the other way ’round. Let ’em have santa & whoever else they claiming.

    We create in our sleep.

    Guaranteed that if we drop christmas and western christianity today, the world will follow whatever WE doing tomorrow.

    We burning calories over two things (among many) that was forced upon you.

    Don’t just protest one caucanderthal females’ statements and still attend a church w/white jesus portraits and stained glass. A church you’ve probably attended for years w/o conflict over the race of ‘your savior.’ Don’t start today about santa either. You’ve accepted for years he was a fat white man who you let take credit for all your hard work year in, year out in the eyes of your children.

    santa is white (in ameriKKKa).

    With that being said let’s get back to our own customs, style, traditions etc. and quit being butt hurt when the melanin deprived don’t let us engage in theirs.

    Your response has to be more than “history shows both were black/dark skinned.”

    If you hate the service/treatment/attitude but constantly support the business, who remains in power?

    1. OUR history is PRICELESS and filled w/endless heroes. Don’t petition for marvel or the creators of bond for diversity. We can create our own.

  5. Brotha, do you not find the concept of Santa disturbing to start? He has many of the same traits as a pedophile such as giving gifts and candies to the children he doesnt know; surreptitiously climbing down chimneys to deliver gifts. That must have come from some European mythology. If you read the original Brothers Grimm stories, they contained extremely violent ideation. If I recall, they sanitized these stories to make them more palatable to the average european reader. Apparently, some of the originals were quite shocking. These stories were relayed to them and they compiled them in a book. Just think, did your parents not warn you against strangers bearing gifts? Did they not tell you to run or scream for help when approached by one who seemed bent on doing something bad to you? I never believed in Santa to start. I figured it out when I asked my parents how he got in without a chimney available.

    The whites can have Santa, the fat diddler!

      1. Have you seen this movie? It is a Norwegian movie about the original origins of Santa Claus. What we have been fed has been totally sanitized. Below are two trailers for it.

  6. Brothawolf,

    Really? I can see them on my end. Just type in “Rare Exports trailer” on Youtube and you should be able to see them.

  7. going back to the miles morales point, I remember this comic from Marvel named Hercules: The Knives of Cush and they portrayed the Egyptians as white people, now why is it they get to white-wash people of colour yet when they colourize white characters, they kick up a stink which is why, when I write my book my characters are gonna be non-white people of colour. maybe one or two background white characters, but I’m still undecided

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