Sometimes, black folks make me sad

“Sad Wolf” by Christinik

For a few years, I’ve been blogging my disgust concerning white racism and the mindless zombies who do its bidding. I don’t have any regrets despite the efforts of white racist trolls like Unamused, GLPiggy, Allegory and Jovent who, by the way, left another steaming, stinking pile of black crime stats. I may write a diss article if he decides to return.

Yes, people need to keep it real when discussing the topic of race, and not digest the obviously racist hype feed to them. But sometimes, you need to be upfront about some members of your own people, particularly the ones who appear to be on the same side, but still see you as the enemy.

I will not pull a Don Lemon or Bill Cosby here. I will not write this to make myself better than all the rest of the black population. I will not scold them, nor will I try to sound like a white guy acting like he “cares”. And I will not go into too much detail. But, the fact is that black people sometimes depress me.

For example, I was asked to illustrate a graphic novel for a brotha who’s an author. I took the job to make some extra money. I took on the project because it featured a woman of color as the main character. I jumped on this because he and I agreed that we need more representation and how we, as black people, need to work together.

Not getting into too much detail, the job was stressful and time consuming, considering I had other responsibilities. Yet, I still enjoyed it. I did the illustrations, the wording and the special graphic effects.

To make a short story even shorter, I got tired of it, and I said so to the brotha by email telling him we need to talk about the project. The next thing I know, I was lashed at. I tried to explain what I meant, and even apologized. I even tried to call him. In the end, I was dropped like a bad habit. And the work I put all my effort into is sitting cold in my hard drive.

So, here I am wondering what I did wrong. How could I let this opportunity blow up in my face? Should I have kept my mouth shut and continued to do what this writer asked even though I thought that’s what I did?

To this day, I still wondered what I could’ve done that was different. I concluded that I set myself up. I, a black man, most likely screwed myself out of a huge opportunity. I made myself sad.

Then again, what if I was being used?

What was really depressing is that this isn’t the first time something like this happened. I’ve been asked to do numerous artwork for just as many people. In most cases, my pictures were not accepted, and I didn’t get paid. Sadly, most of those people were brothas and sistas. *Sigh!*

Including that my own graphic novel was rejected by a company I assume is operated by whites, you have one depressed wolf questioning why he should continue drawing.

I still fucking love black people. I do. But honestly, I wonder if some of them even knows what it means when they use words like “stick together” or “uplift and empower ourselves” when some of them turn around and disrespect you or support the negativity many of us try so hard to reject.

Case in point, there was a tweet chat about reality TV representation of black people, a subject I have strong criticisms about. I deplore those negative images of black folks on those shows. They do nothing but revitalize stereotypes. Plain and simple. And the sad part is that some of them are produced by black folks! Argh!

It’s bad enough that these shows are green lit for production and more seasons, but it’s dispiriting when black folks tune in to see what kind of drama went down during a week’s episode. And what’s infuriating is that some of those same viewers complain how there’s not enough positive images in the media.

Well, duh! It’s because people like them flock to these degenerative programs. Some of them are hooked on “entertainment” like this. Do they not realize that networks will keep giving the people what they want as long as viewership remains strong? Damn!

Now, here’s the funny part. Some black folks make excuses. “This is just entertainment,” or “It’s just my escape”. Seriously? It’s sickening to watch black people act a fool on these dime-a-dozen reality shows. Why the hell would anyone tune in to liberate themselves from their everyday lives? There must be some lowbrow folks with horrible lives to want to “escape” to this bull fuckery. And if saying so is offensive, your ass is not paying a attention!

Look, this isn’t my declaration to join the Uncle Tom union, nor is this an public service announcement for respectability politics. But between smart ass, biting comments by know-it-all brothas, or hostile sistas who bite your head off for asking a question, both claiming to be ‘pro-black’, some negroes need a serious time out. I understand the circumstances born from this, but it still doesn’t bring any sliver of relief and remind me why I’m a lone wolf.


24 thoughts on “Sometimes, black folks make me sad

  1. When I was 16 I started on a slow descend away from American tv. As time went by I watched it less and less and less. A few shows may catch my attention but none of this reality tv bs that seems to be rampant. I just refuse to take part in tv shows that degrade black people and refuse to show them as real people instead of head bobbing morons. I never get the blacks that support it.

    I have over time come to realize that my real disdain is American culture. There is frankly something about it that is insidious and provides a complete disservice, not only to black people, but to people in general. With black people I keep wanting them to wake up and realize how much this culture deteriorates any real meaningful part of a person, but it like they have too much of this mentality of being like and fitting into the American way of life. *sigh What can you do though?

  2. “Do they not realize that networks will keep giving the people what they want as long as viewership remains strong? ”

    yeah people need to stop watching the mess, but even the good shows get taken off air when they do have good views or they get switched to another network that not many people have like they did with totally biased. Brothawolf i’m sorry u had to deal with people like that. The good thing is we have places like youtube where we can go and watch shows made by black people and donate to it. what happened with usu comic thing.

  3. Don’t worry about things you cannot control which is the actions of others. Keep up your artwork and do some research into other companies which will publish your work or, self publish. Their refutation of your work is not a reflection on you but on them if done for trivial reasons. Remember, assholes are individuals and should be treated as such. There is an old saying; You must kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. This can be applied to people in general; you will encounter a lot of assholes before you encounter those willing to help you. Learn to say no. I’ve seen some of your art work and it is very good. Try not to let these people get you down. You appear to be an easy going guy, assholes take this as a weakness and will exploit you accordingly. You must let them know that you do not mind helping them but you are not there to be abused.

    I presume this clown approached you because he felt you were a talented artist. Next time someone approaches you, make sure they draw up a contract so the you are compensated should the project fall through or, if it successful, however the project turns out. Anyhow, good luck you deserve it! Do not let these people get to you. You have the power!

    1. Yeah, my dad said the same thing about the contract. He also mentioned seeing a lawyer, but I don’t have the time, money or composure to deal with a legal battle…I’ve been wondering heavily about what to do about drawing. Right now, I don’t care about earning from this because I no longer see it as a moneymaking venture.

  4. Hey Brothawolf,

    You’re a gifted artist; please don’t allow those setbacks to convince you otherwise.

    I’ve been in similar situations with jobs; A couple of summers back I didn’t have a formal contract with the people I worked for. I went a while without getting paid, so I filed a wage complaint to the Department of Labor to investigate. Also I went for legal aid in my state to get legal counsel. I don’t know if legal aid is available in your state, but it most likely is. Legal aid is for those who fall under the low-income bracket; legal advise is given free of charge. Whatever you decide I wish you the best. Hope the info is helpful!

  5. Not much I can say that hasn’t been said by the other commenters. I am sorry about what you are going through, I love the sketch of the wolf, you are a very talented artist and a good blogger, I am praying things starting looking better for you. Be encouraged, keep your head up, as Tupac used to say. You are a talented brother, you have a purpose, and you have great gifts that you will get to use.

  6. I agree because I do well in school and other Black students see me as a sellout for trying to do well in school. Why is that? It is sad that many of us don’t stick together and love each other.

  7. I swear to baby Jesus that wolf always surprises me.

    Very good article Brotha and I really don’t have anything to add. I just want you to know that you are not alone in your observations. I left my comments all over and most of the time the negroes just shoot them down as me being “racist.” I’ll leave it at that and wish you luck and please know that you are not alone.

  8. we are in the wolf’s (no pun intended) den. i know wolves are majestic animals, but i’m talking about the stereotype, so the behavior u encounter is just that. And at the end of the day we are still a spiritually bankrupt people we haven’t cultivated what our liberation will truly mean yet, we take breaks and enjoy sally hemming 2013 and these other garbage shows to keep us unfocused on our own enslavement. nobody has to enslave us anymore, its pretty fucking automatic now.

  9. ..You are not only a really wonderful writer, but also a positive and very engaging soul indeed, Brothawolf! Haters are gonna do their job (which is to hate, what else have they got goin’ for em? not much), but don’t let it break your stride-I am lookin’ forward to many, many, other great works from you (in lots of areas), and if you are ever in the market for a Promos-Gal, I’m right here! ! ! 😀

    1. Yeah, but sometimes it’s not just the run-of-the-mill haters and trolls. Sometimes it’s people on the same side as you when it comes to raising awareness.

      Thanks for the offer, and I welcome it. 🙂

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