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Okay. So now in this latest endless epic of hollow white victimization in America, we have a country-rap duet by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J entitled “Accidental Racist”. It’s a very recent ditty, but has already gotten some reviews online. Unless you’ve been away from the internet for the last day or so, you already know that a lot of people who wish death upon this number.

The theme of this piece of song starts off with Paisley engaging in typical white fear. He hopes – that’s right, hopes the black male waiter getting his coffee at Starbucks would not be offended by his Confederate flag tee. To Paisley, he’s just a “proud rebel son who’s also a Skynyrd fan.

As the song unfortunately progresses, Paisley engages into ‘white wine’ mode with the following lyrics:

I’m just a white man comin’ to you from the southland
Tryin’ to understand what it’s like not to be
I’m proud of where I’m from but not everything we’ve done
And it ain’t like you and me can re-write history
Our generation didn’t start this nation
We’re still pickin’ up the pieces, walkin’ on eggshells, fightin’ over yesterday
And caught between southern pride and southern blame

Oh, poor Brad. It’s hard enough to be a white man in a white male dominated society, but to be a white man from the South who is proud of his Southern past must be a hellish experience. Who cares if the flag was the symbol of a past drenched in hatred and blood due to white supremacist ideals? So what if it was a symbol of a region of a nation devoted to slavery? Let’s separate all the bad parts – the dark, unforgiving truth within this nation’s past, as we’ve been doing to avoid any hint of guilt – and just think of the Confederate flag as a symbol of rebellion instilling the hope that the South shall rise again. *Throws up!*

But if you thought this is sickening, remember, I did mention LL Cool J earlier. He drops a few bars in this song like, “If you don’t judge my do-rag, I won’t judge your red flag. If you don’t judge my gold chains, I’ll forget the iron chains … Let bygones be bygones.”

In those few words alone, LL equates do-rags and gold chains – apparel synonymous with street wear/thug culture to most white Americans to Confederated flags and chains. In other words it all boils down to appearances and one is just as stereotypical and harmful as the other.

Already, I link this with the old “Blacks are just as racist” zero-sum arguments whenever anyone criticizes whites on their racism. I think back to how I was told that the Black Panthers and the NAACP are the black community’s, equally destructive counterparts to the Ku-Klux Klan. And I recollect how Black History Month is racist and that there should be a White History Month.

I barely have enough patience to explain how a young black male like myself, dressed in clothing that would deem me as a ‘threat’ to society, would be like seeing a white man wearing Confederate flag paraphernalia as a member of a hate group or is seen as equally threatening. I will tell you from experience that white dudes wearing the Confederate design is no threat whatsoever. None. On the other hand, seeing black men in sagging pants, oversized shirts or hoodies, dreadlocks, tattoos a backwards cap and wearing some kind of bling is like seeing a dangerous gang of thugs looking to start some shit.

Black men with this appearance are frightening to the public. It is the image of the criminal black man popular in the media, especially the news. It is the image that has leaded countless black males in prison. It is the image that has led to the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Oscar Grant, Kimani Gray, Sean Bell and many more unarmed black males at the hands of the police. And yet, it’s hard on Brad Paisley to wear his Confederate shirt with pride without being seen as a racist.

As for LL, who has willing set black people back 200 years, he will be the black guy many whites will reference and will expect all of us lost black sheep to follow. His partnership in this song has rendered him into ‘good negro’ status with white folks just like many mainstream rappers of today.

Excuse me while I drink bang my head against the desk.