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Baby: This heffa’s crazy!

by Lavern Merriweather

Over the years, there have been a number of white female celebrities who have adopted black babies: Sandra Bullock, Charlize Theron, Mariska Hargitay, Angelina Jolie, Kristin Davis and Madonna are just a few names that come to mind. And something has always struck me ever since I read an article about this little trend by a black male columnist whose name escapes me. Namely that is why is it that these women never have black children the old fashioned way? No they get them express mail order bride, COD delivery style and it’s always from some far off third world African country as if black babies in America have some sort of ‘ghetto cooties’ from birth. Therefore, making them unlovable and unappealing enough to want to raise in the lavish home of these very wealthy women.

Sandra Bullock is the most troubling example. Her dreck movie The Blind Side aside, it’s very shifty and disturbing that her ex cavorted with a sleazy, nasty anti-Semitic stripper who also spelled the words ‘white power’ with her son’s toy blocks and has a ‘white power’ tattoo. Her ex’s first wife just married a white supremacist asshole (or maybe she was already married to one). All while Jesse James himself was seen in a picture imitating Hitler and doing the Nazi salute which has led some to think that Sandy only adopted little Louis to distance herself from all the sicko hatred. Whether this is a publicity stunt or not is beyond me. However, I do find it very questionable about the timing of her adopting a black child. And if this is the case then it makes me think that Sandra probably had some inkling about what type of man she was marrying and just didn’t give a crap. This would pretty much make Ms. Bullock an asshole herself and makes me very sad for that little boy who has to grow up in such a messed up confused environment. 

This leads me to another point I have seen a number of marriages with black celebrities both male AND female to white people, something I have never understood considering that you very rarely, if ever, see the reverse. Sure, there is Ted Danson and that lady from “Grey’s Anatomy” but otherwise you won’t see many white celebrities rushing to marry outside their race to the degree that we black folks do. Recently, in a TV interview, Mike Tyson felt some incessant need to rehash the non secret that his ex-wife Robin Givens used to date Hollywood mega-star Brad Pitt. And Ms. Givens has been trying desperately to keep herself relevant by bragging constantly about this tidbit of gossip, apparently oblivious to the fact that their relationship has been over for some time. On top of that he dated her when he was a nobody. I don’t know Brad personally, but I’ll bet my last pennies he probably wouldn’t be caught dead with Robin on his arm now, neither would any of the other white guys she dated before they became famous. I don’t hear Brad or any of them talking endlessly about her so why does she still think it’s some kind of feather in her cap to always yack about a man who has long since dumped her ass? Earth to Robin, you ain’t with him anymore. He’s currently with a woman who is much more on his level. Meaning, she is just as white as he is.

I can vividly recall a young black woman on a talk show saying that every time you see a black man with a white woman she is always some, and I quote, ‘ghetto white girl’.  I can only assume means that she is always some broke princess wannabe, but at least she is with him in a certain sense which is more than I can say for those white female celebrities who like to buy their babies wholesale. It’s almost as if having a black child in Holly-white has become an accessory the same way some socialites sluts like Paris Hilton carry around cute little pooches in their fancy purses.

Almost my ass! It IS, like that one time when I was on another website, there was a heated debate when it was reported that Charlize Theron had adopted her daughter. Some people said who cares who adopts that girl Ms. Theron is rich as all get out and that little girl will want for nothing, while others say she is going to have a racial identity crisis being raised by a rich white woman in la la land whose only true motivation was how ‘charitable’ she can look. They might as well be saying, “We will raise you as our own, but we don’t want to share with you our livelihood, neighborhood or plush big beds, especially our beds!” But, the problem with that mindset is that a child is not an accessory like a pretty piece of jewelry or a new sportscar. They are real living, breathing, human beings who need to be cared for and nurtured in a way that has nothing to do with money. So, I truly do hope that there is no ‘white savior’ bs going on with these adoptions and that these people do really plan on caring for those children in a good sensible loving way. Still, I can’t help but feel in the back of my mind that these kids mean no more to these supposed do-gooders than the fancy gowns and expensive high heels that they strut around in on any given awards show.