I must advise everyone that this post is NOT the best entry to define or challenge misogyny or sexism, nor am I the best one to give advice on the matter. Please give your incite, extra points and criticisms, on the matter in the comment section below.
I’ve been hurt by women several times in my lifetime. I’ve been let down, used and just hated for reasons only theorized. (I won’t go into details) I didn’t do anything wrong to provoke those females, as far as I know. However, I’ve been bitter about what they’ve done to me, and in some cases I’m still a little bitter. That’s why I will admit that I am a misogynist.
For a long time, I carried my pain and expressed it online. I complained a lot about how women are this and that. (Yes, I grouped all women into one, demeaning category.) There was even a time where I agreed with other misogynists’ whenever they beefed about how women are, or rather what they did to them. I was a woman hater and saw nothing wrong with it until recently.
We live in a patriarchal society where maleness is seen as ‘superior’ above femininity. This society, and the world in general, regard women as less than human, devoid of being taken seriously. Most males regard women as ‘the problem’ especially when they start challenging and smashing forms of male supremacy. However, there are males who are mad with rage that they wage their personal war against the entire female gender.
I’ve seen men online have access to communication apparatuses to give their latest installments as to why women, or certain groups or women, are to be hated and left alone. They will have plenty of shows, articles and blog posts tearing down the image of women. Sometimes they will do this by the hundreds. Evidently, their vitriol is endless and relentless, but it gets worse.
Some of these bitter and angry males not only want to be heard, but supported unconditionally. And they are, mostly by other males who see their position and will follow them to the ends of the Earth as if they are holy prophets. They will even help spread the gospel of female hatred to others as they think they’ve heard the “truth”. Those who disagree respectably are seen as vile sinners.
You can confront and express your views on why their misogyny is wrong and that it causes more harm against women. But it gets nowhere. In fact it is seen as a personal attack by these males. They think you are out to “get” them and bring them down. So, they will lash out and bite back with a barrage of insults, curse words and an extreme denial of the fact that they are indeed misogynists, sexists and chauvinists by definition and position. It’s no different from confronting most racists or homophobic lunatics on their bullshit.
Why do they have so much animosity towards women? I’m no expert, but my guess is that they’ve been hurt or traumatized by the women they’ve met or known in their personal lives. They must’ve been played, made fun of, passed up for another male they deem is unworthy of the affection of certain women they find is attractive or just plain abused. Being sexist and without proper help to deal with their pain, they conclude that women in general are the enemy that need to be put back in their place.
Most of these males have developed expectations as to how women are supposed to be. It varies depending on the individual, of course, but the overall theme is that these males feel it is their right to tell women how and what to think, say and do according to their perceptions. If there are women who fit outside that image or dare to challenge it, then those males see them as a threat and are thus, hated.
I know there are men out there who are hurt by women. It is a painful feeling. I won’t deny it. However, men need to realize that women are hurt by men way more often than many of us care to understand. Think about it: Are we told what to do with our bodies usually as a political and religious topic? Are we objectified by the media as sex objects who desperately need the opposite sex to validate our worth? Are we seen in a negative light by society when we sleep with as many people as possible? If you’ve answered no to all these questions, that’s the point.
I won’t try to pass myself off as an expert on this subject because frankly, I’m not the best person to ask about this topic. I may know quite a bit, but no one knows more about how it’s like to be a woman in a patriarchal world better than a woman who knows first hand and have done some research and activism. If there is to be any hope for men and women, we, as males, need to start learning, listening and face the problem. We have to start checking these dudes who feel it is their right to bash women for simply being human.