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Before I begin, I want it to be known that I’m not trying to gain any pity from writing this, nor do I want to read something that will make me feel worse. This is one of my venting entries where I need to blow off some steam and shed a tear or two. 

As you know one of my most used topics has always been about the mainstream media and its usual platform of racial stereotypes of black folks. You see it all the time in news and entertainment. Some people are not aware of how unbalanced the portrayal of African Americans is in the media as they are glued to the television busy trying to see what the media has to say about the Kardashians that day. But in the midst of the media’s Kardashian obsession, there will be images emerging that will tell the world how bad black people are supposedly are according to white media. 

The nightmarish reality of all this is that even if you turn the TV and radio off, stay away from newspaper stands, and overt your eyes from their websites because you know what to expect, the presence is still there surrounding you and affecting everyone around you. At the same time, the public wants more and more of the same shit. They can’t seem to get enough of it. They want fear and hate because that is entertaining to them.

I’ve written and described how this can bring about collective shame. When it comes to news, it’s mostly crime reports that get the ratings pumping. Whenever a bad crime is reported, some black folks do not want the suspect to be the same race because they know society judges all black people with the actions of one. (You will hear it when they say, “I hope he wasn’t black.”) All it takes is one to confirm social fears about black men. More than one will enact government action to watch black communities more closely and implement tougher penalties. When the reports describe that the suspect(s) was a black male, or if the report shows a mugshot of a black male or mugshots of black males, then their fears come true.

Even though having such anxiety is illogical, it is explainable. Black, brown, and native people in this nation is always seen through a “white” lens. The worst among us is a small minority within our group, not the majority. However, the American mainstream media focuses on that minority for ratings purposes. A illusion is created that makes people believe that most crimes in this nation are committed by men of color, and they are out in large numbers to invade white communities to cause trouble. Nothing is explained about what factors would make men of color commit crimes let alone why crimes occur in general.

It seems to me that lately the news is going into overtime focusing on the color of crime which is usually black. I know and you know that there are blacks who do commit crimes, but there are a small number of those that engage in criminal activity. Yet, if you were to check out the news, you’d think that black people are natural-born killers and rapists. You never hear about the good things blacks have done or are doing because the mainstream public doesn’t find that interesting. But let them tell a story about how a 10-year old white kid organized a fundraiser for a sick child and it’s a “feel good” moment. This is what gets to me. 

I shouldn’t have to feel guilt or shame because some crazy fool screwed up severely. Then again, I shouldn’t just let it slide and consider it as part of life either. I shouldn’t have to worry about what white people will think about us, but I do worry about what whiteness will do to us. After all, it still haunts the American government and “justice” system. Remember Troy Davis? Nuff said. Now, I’m sorry if I sound like a frightened negro to you right now, but like I said in a few of my past entries, I’m still conditioned to think a certain way. I guess the media has a Pavlov effect on my mind and heart, and it may take all my life to be free from this.

So, right now I’m thinking and wallowing around in depression. I’ll be okay soon, and I will feel this way again. I’m still Brotha Wolf, but right now I feel like a damn poodle (lol). Hey. Sometimes even wolves feel so much pressure.