Selfies are all the rage nowadays since we had mobile phones with cameras. One dad has used his to help expunge the recently adverse stereotype of the no-good, deadbeat, black sperm donor trash talk media has been dancing with.
Doyin Richards, 39, is a black dad who took a picture of himself styling his oldest daughter’s hair while having his toddler strapped to his chest. Word on the street is that it’s gone viral in the last several days.
Richards originally posted the photo on his website back in October with the title, “I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal.” He’d taken it after his wife challenged him to do their 6-year-old daughter’s hair without leaving their infant on her own. Richards not only did it, but took a picture as proof. He later reposted the photo last month and the photo was eventually picked up by the fatherhood blog The Good Men Project.
The photo is a hit to many. Hundreds of thousands in fact. But since we’re talking about black male dads in America, it predictably got its fair share of racist insults such as, “He probably rented those kids,” and “I would bet anything that you’re a deadbeat.”
It’s so sad when you expect that to happen, but it’s a foot-up-the-ass painful when some of the hateful comments came from black folks!
As you can see, Richards’ kids are mixed. His wife and mother of his children is half-Japanese and half-white. No doubt this angered a lot of black folks as seen here in the following couplet of comments as seen in his article at the Good Men Project‘s website:
“This would be so much better if those kids were BLACK!”
“Your MOM is black and you dishonored her by marrying outside of your race? You probably can’t handle a strong black woman.”
I won’t lie. It is slightly disappointing that he didn’t marry a sista and had a family with her. But I don’t think – and everyone’s welcome to disagree – it’s a big issue in this case. There has been a push to defy the black baby daddy stereotype prevalent in the imaginations of most Americans, including African Americans. Yet, the image of a black dude fucking numerous women, getting them pregnant and leaving them for more women is a pop culture staple that exemplifies the remorseless irresponsible nature of black males.
There is a survey that helps defy the ugly stereotype. It shows that most black fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives. I’m grateful that one is done. But who are we kidding? The stereotype will persist. The media will continue to spoon-feed the gullible race-obsessed public the same sweets rotting their brains for bargain-basement entertainment and ratings that would excite toddlers.
I don’t know him personally, but Doyin Richards seems like a good dude, and he is being a man by staying in his family’s lives. Sure, he married a nonblack woman. It looks like he genuinely loves her for her and not for what she is or isn’t. Can we put that aside and see that he is helping to shatter a damning image?
The term ‘good black men’ is becoming an oxymoron in today’s times of cultural appropriation and black folk blaming. We are always suspect at first sight. We are always searched for the worst of us and in us. And we are molded into one deformed collective based on those search results.
The good black man doesn’t exist, not even in the eyes of some black folks, in this society. A good black man, in a matter of speaking, must be flawless, a Christ-like human being in order for the suspicions to, at least, subside – a little.
I’m not saying black men shouldn’t strive to be the best. But we are only human, like everyone else. We definitely need improvement like anyone else with their faults. That’s no lie. There are good black men out there. So, let’s try to give some brothas like Doyin Richards some love.